Just toward the end of last year, a friend of mine asked if I had any understanding about soul ties. Despite knowing a little about the concept, I could not find a ready answer to give her. As you’ve guessed already, I promised to research and pray about the same then get back after some time. Praying I have, but researching not quite. From how she framed her question, I felt God leading me to address it in a little different fashion. That, combined with the realization that many like her might be wrestling with the same question, is what has led me to write this article.
To many believers, especially the very seeking ones that will read and research on anything spiritual, the concept of soul ties is not new. The youth, who battle with sexual struggles perhaps more than any other group of Christians, might be disposed to have more of an idea. I will therefore not go deep into explaining what soul ties mean, except to just give a very basic understanding.
Soul ties should mean the emotional and spiritual bonds we create as a result of our human relations. While there are good ones, the majorly talked about are the negative kind that bring harm; like what results from the sexual sin of fornication. The understanding is that sex is never just a physical activity, but it connects the two partners in more ways than meets the eye. This is true, and receives backing even from the Bible; 1 Corinthians 6:16 – Do you not know that He who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘the two shall become one flesh’ (Gen 2:24).
Sex unites, hence the soul tie. Whoever has more partners, the more ties they create and the nastier the web they wrap around themselves. The thought of being spiritually linked with several people in such a negative manner is so awful. Whenever someone with a pretty messed up life eventually comes to the faith, this is one of those realities they struggle hardest to deal with. I’ve personally read many articles on the concept and prayed many guided prayers afterward. For me, that makes this article worth writing, because it is exactly what I hope others like my friend will not do.
Do not be ignorant
Many of us walk around scarred because we act ignorantly towards the devil’s schemes. This is what Paul was hoping his audience at Ephesus would avoid, reminding them who they war against; rulers, authorities, and powers of this dark world, and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms – Ephesians 6:10 – 12. This should tell us that it will be foolish to treat lightly the whole thing about soul ties.
Acting in ignorance and lessening the significance of these ties will be a guarantee to be plagued by the consequences of sexual sin over and over again. Right Biblical theology will acknowledge that even though we are already saved, our battle against sin and its devastating consequences continues until when Christ finally returns and puts an end to it once and for all.
To digress a little; if you’ve ever wondered why we have to wait until when He comes again for evil to be wiped off completely when He could do it even now at the snap of a finger, just know that being given an opportunity to fight sin is being privileged with our only chance to be like Him. He fought too, and overcame. Our renewal is not an instant thing, but a continual shedding off of the old nature and putting on the new one.
If, therefore you thought that since you are saved there are no any soul ties to deal with, you are horribly wrong. Indeed, the grace of God has saved you, but that is not to mean you act ignorantly. What grace does is it introduces responsibility. It will open your eyes to bonds you need to break, and you had better done so.
The extreme opposite of ignorance is living in an over conscious state. Sadly, most of the articles or teachings I’ve had a chance to go through that address soul ties or anything close are awash with this attitude. I may not be too certain, but I’m guessing my friend must have interacted with one for her to ask me her question. The reason I say this is because of the fear I could read in her tone. So many Christians, like her, suffer from such exaggerations and consequently miss out on enjoying the freedom that comes with the grace of Salvation.
It is for such that I hope to write a more balanced approach. I firmly believe in both acknowledging the consequences of sin and the victory over it. The Son of Man said of Himself that He did not come to condemn the world, but rather to save it – John 3:17. Sound Biblical teaching should never leave anyone at condemnation (fear) but should always point them to hope in Christ. The reality of our sin and its consequences shouldn’t eventually leave a grim look on our faces but should elate us at the marvelous thought of how we could be saved from it.
If Jesus came to condemn the world, he would tell sinners who already knew that something was wrong with them of how things were actually worse; but He didn’t do that. Instead, He preached about and demonstrated the beauty of the Kingdom, and warned His hearers of the wrath of God that would consume anyone who refused to believe His message.
Too many teachings lay every emphasis on the consequences of sin while ignoring the sweet message of victory. This should never be. Ungodly soul ties that result from sexual acts outside of marriage are so real, but also real and even more worth telling is the power of the blood of Jesus that washes away every sin. Placing more significance on soul ties than they are worth is not a wise thing to do.
Whenever a sinner gets saved or a child of God sins and asks to be forgiven, I doubt the blood of Jesus will only wash away some of his sins and leave others to be dealt with later by say a deliverance specialist. We don’t need another crucifixion and any more spilling of the blood than that which already happened at Calvary. My understanding of how best to walk anyone through dealing with a soul tie is simply help them understand the victory they already have in Christ and live it.
Otherwise, we will find ourselves breaking bond after bond in the spirit while they are still cherished in the physical. What I mean is this; it will be useless spending hours in prayer to break a tie while the person spends maybe even more hours chatting with their mate or thinking about them and bolstering the tie instead. Often times it’s a simple step of slashing off any emotional or physical investment to sever the tie, but we fail to do so because we overstated the spiritual action necessary.
Most people who do this always have a good intention; the hope that many young people can be saved from sexual sin. But good intentions can never justify any wrong methods. Fear is the worst instrument to ever use in the hope to achieve any result. We will not have more young people abstaining from sex because we hurled these dreadful realities about the consequences of fornication at them, but because we proudly held in display before them the beauty of chastity. It’s the same way more people will not become believers because we busied with showing them worse evils they don’t yet know in the world, but because we showed them the love of Jesus and the beauty of His Cross.
If you ever wish to have someone see the awfulness of sin, don’t use sin to achieve that, use holiness instead; nothing trounces sin better. If you are one that’s also been hampered by fear of soul ties in your walk of salvation, I hope this helps set you on a path to your freedom. This once don’t focus again on the things you did (and start listing all your partners from the past by name and praying against any ties with them), simply savor the victory Christ has gifted you with through His grace and live as one forgiven.